BUSINESS WOMAN

[this pic was chosin because it shows true happiness and thats what this post is about]

WELL AN UPDATE ON MY LIFE. IT IS KIND OF EXCITING TO ME.

I AM NOW, WELL FOR THE PAST MONTH OR SO, A WORKING WOMAN. NOT ONE BUT TWO JOBS.

ONE IS AVON- I AM AN INDEPENDENT SALES REP. ITS MY BUSINESS. I HAVE A BUSINESS ACCOUNT AND EVERYTHING. HERES MY WEBSITE , CHECK IT OUT. http://desireejohnson.avonrepresentative.com/

TWO IS FOREVER21. I AM A TREND ADVISOR/SALES ASSOCIATE/CASHIER. BOMB I LOVE IT.

ALL ON TOP OF THIS, I ATTEND COLLEGE, FINSISHING UP MY 1ST SEMESTER GEARING UP FOR 2ND. I RUN TRACK AND TAKE CARE OF MY SON/PUPPY DREAM && THE REST OF MY FAM.

I AM STILL SINGLE. NO ONE HAS BEEN ABLE TO HANDLE MY BUSY SCHED, THEY WANNA BE WHAT I CENTER MY LIFE ON, AND WELP WITH ME, THAT HAS NEVER && PROB WILL NEVER HAPPEN. BUT WHO KNOWS MAYBE WHEN IM 50 OR SOMETHIN. EVEN THEN IM GONNA BE BUSY LOL..

SO BASICALLY IM LOVEIN LIFE SUPER MUCH!!!

EMOTIONS-[POETIC FREESTYLE]

Emotions for you continue to build. They disperse amongst my heart, my mind, my body, my soul.
Emotions that I have no ability to control.
At one momment I hate the way you speak.
Another passes by and I love the way you express what resides inside so sweetly.
There is something about you that continues to reel me in.
But don't get it wrong I know about your character and how your love is a trend.
You contain the knowlege that many desire your love, your touch, you heart your sexual clutch.
But I consume, take in, obsereve this mannerism as if it were my pray.
A lioness is what I am and emotions, strength and wisdom is where my inteligence lays.
Attacking what I see as weak.
Tearing thru it all, ripping, biting and nawing throught its meat.
Emotions that build inside of me,
I will no longer hold them in, nor will I set them free.
Emotions that lay within, you are ignored, put aside and dismissed.

SINGLE VS COMMITMENT

Bein single has its perks but it is nice to have someone solid in ur life ya kno? I desire somethin solid. Somethin natural & not forced +p

Therfore while I do me I will not allo false love, bs, games distract me. Nor am I saying that if tru love comes it will distract me. But I will open my time & heart to them. But I will continue to do me

ponder on this

why is that... when someone passes away, ppl refuse to say "died, death" . harsh words perhaps? no one wants to face the reality that once you lose someone their physical presence is no longer there. spirits may watch over you, but it is not the same. i am one of those who try to think optimistic, but that does me no good, because i will have my breakdowns and its no good.

i just wish i could rewind time or go and visit them in a dream or something. life without my aunt and big mamma just isnt the same. i am done writing now because this is too hard, goodnight

im turnin it in early tonight

god bless

+butterfly-d

[in low caps due to my mood while bloging this]

CHICAGO TEEN BEATEN TO DEATH

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2009/09/candlelight-vigil-scheduled-for-teen-beaten-to-death.html

This right here is redic. This poor boy was beaten to death for now reason. Read and watch. This makes me want to cry. Man... This is why other ppl outside the black community look at us as heathens and idiotic and animalistic ppl.

MY PRAYERS GO OUT TO THE FAMILY. LORD PLEASE STAY BY THEIR SIDE!

BIBLE THUMPERS

Life is amazing.... I am young and I have fun... but I do live semi responsibly... not even semi... I do live responsibly. Mistakes are supposed to happen, so you have the ability to learn from them. I am living not dying so why live in fear? You only live once so do what you want. God will forgive you. No matter the sin, well only if you deny the Holy Ghost, then he probably will not.

If you do not know what I mean by what I just said up above in the last couple sentences, I shall explain. The lord is a forgiving man, no matter the sin you commit you have the ability to be forgiven as long as you truthfully repent; but there is one exception to his forgiveness, which is that of the “denial of the Holy Ghost”. This means, say something amazing has happened to you, like a miracle, and the only way that it could have possibly happened was through the Lord, and you say “Oh no He has nothing to with my success, I do not need him.”; This is the sin that He will not be able to forgive.

No I am not pulling this out of my rear end. I had a very insightful conversation with my PaPaw (grandfather), and I asked him “If a person has committed a wide variety of sins in their life, will they be forgiven?” He told me what I just mentioned above. So those of you who are Bible thumpers that believe that you are perfect and you do not make mistakes and that if one does not obey by the Bible all the time and go to church every Sunday the Lord will not accept you in his house, well I am sorry to tell you but you are definitely wrong.

You are able to believe and interpret the Bible in anyway, and I respect your beliefs. My only problem is when those people who are such “Christians” tend to expel so much hatred and prejudice to those who do not follow the Bible exactly, but do still believe in the Lord, and those who just have a different faith or none at all.
This was just my thought for today. What do you think?

COLLEGE LIFE!

Even tho its just GCC its about to be great!

Track season is about to be amazing!

School I plan to geek it up...

Ill be at most of the GCC football games supporting my team.... I may try to work the game lol extra cash lol

Things in my life have always been a roller coaster but I have learned to control my stomach and just enjoy the ride even with its ups and downs.

When one door closes another may open even if its not right away, one will open.

I am becoming a better woman by the day. my process is slow but it I am progressing. Each day I learn something new about either myself, someone else, a subject, or just life in general..

Life is a learning experience and I am gaining my knowledge!

LORD PLESE STAY BY MY SIDE!

I do not understand some of these lil girls man. They call them seleves grown? Yet they sit here and act like a child. Idiotic decisions and rediculous behavior. Sexual and revieling ppictures on a website where family can see... Idk. Well people will live their lives how they want, all I can do is give advice to them, hope they take it in and pray for their well being. My outlook on life is completely different...

I can no longer sit and be mean, crude, and selfish any longer. I am working on my attitude at home with my parents. I have noticed they have done sooo much and deserve way more appreciation, esp. my Daddy.

I have never been nor will I be a vulgar, and disrespectful person. There are aspects of my personality that need no change, but there are some that need a tune up and a complete new engine!

My life revolves around, God, family, my future, school, track, dance, friends[close&true], and possibly love.

Life is like a big roller coaster, a catapillers journey/life, before, during and after the cacoon and change into this beautiful butterfly! I am blessed and I tell myself this everyday, and so should you!

FAMILY FIRST!

I HAVE BEEN GOIN THRU SOME
FAMILY ISSUES, AND NOW I EITHER HAVE TO DELETE A PART OF ME OR JUST HIDE IT ONCE AGAIN. AND WELL I HAVE DECIDED TO KEEP THAT PART OF MY LIFE AWAY FROM MY FAMILY AND AT THIS TIME AWAY FROM ME TOO.

I HAVE FIGURED OUT WHY GET SERIOUS WITH SOMEONE WHO'S LIFESTYLE IS NOT ACCEPTED IN YOUR FAMILY....

SO THAT PART OF MY LIFE WELL RELATIONSHIP WISE IS TERMINATED. THERE WILL STILL BE THE HOOK UPS HERE AND THERE BUT AS OF NOW IT IS NOT WHAT IS BEST FOR ME NOR MY FAMILY!

MY FAMILY IS MY STRENGTH AND WELL THEY WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME. SO ANYONE WHO TRIES TO TEST MY LOYALTY TO MY FAMILY DOES NOT DESERVE ME AND IS NOT RIGHT FOR ME!

I CUT OFF ALL MY LOOSE ENDS AND I AM STRENGTHENING MY ROPE! I WAS TESTED AND I DID F UP.

&& NOW I AM BEING GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE, BY SOMEONE WHO HAS DONE NOTHING BUT BE PATIENT WITH ME. AND I APPRECIATE IT. I WILL NOT SPEAK ON THE SITU TOO SOON BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO JINX IT! +P

UPDATE OF MY LIFE

LATELY I HAVE BEEN IN THE RECORDIN STUDIO A TON. DOIN MY MUSIC THING SO LOOK OUT FOR ME AND MAH FAM, WE COMMIN OUT HARD.

I HAVE ALSO BEEN IN THE DANCE STUDIO. AS WELL AS DOIN SOME PERFORMANCES HERE AND THERE, AT STODIMIRES AND AT A PHX 1ST ASSEMBLY[CHURCH].

SCHOOL STARTS ON 8/22/09 FOR ME, YES A SAT. I AM EXCITED. TRACK BEGINS IN SEPTEMBER!

I HAVE YET TO GET MY KEXUS FIXED BUT I BELIEVE NEXT WEEK MAY BE THE WEEK!

WELL THATS AN UPDATE ON MY LIFE YALL. THANKS FOR READIN.

TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME

It seems that everytime I become close to someone I push them away. I get in over my head thinking about what could be. This only happens when i get extremely close to someone, like sayin I love you but not sayin I am in love ya know?

So instead of trying and being successfull and pushing someone who cares about me away; I have decided to just let things run their natural course. I also know at times to take the initiative and let my feelings be known.

I have so much too offer but I am also a very complex woman. I come with a wall around my heart, stubbourness, attitude. control and trust issues. Even though I come with these cons my pros out wiegh them. I am funny, loving, caring, loyal,I cook and clean, I am great with kids, I believe in God, I am open minded to life and will try mostly anything[not drugs] I am goal//family//musically oriented, I am a great dancer, I am intellectual, inteligent, street smart, I contain and amazing, desireable, and irresistable sex appeal, I do not count on sex to make a relationship. The list could go on forever.

But all in all I am a good woman, a great woman, but I am not perfect. "Take me for what I am. For who I was meant to be. And if you give a damn, take me baby or leave me"-RENT

EGYPT--A PLACE I CALL HOME

THIS ABOVE AND BELOW, WELL THIS IS THE VIEW FROM MY NEW CASA IN WADDELL,AZ AKA EGYPT!!!!!!! BEAUTIFUL

UNDER THE RADAR

i will def be goin under the radar till mah birthday, than after mah birthday celebrations..

SUPER UNDER THE RADAR

i do not understand how ppl kan/want to party every weekend. personally i like kick backs/chill outs with my ppls... nothin too serious. i like to do the whole movie thinf, bowlin, skating, ice skating, lazer tag, water parks, etc...
as far as partyin/clubbin. im puttin myself at a great risk everytime i go do somethin of that sort.

i know how some ppl say oh ur bout to 18 ur gonna club ur ace off.... well that maybe true but only for the first 2 weekends of my new age....

i have never been a big partier, i am more a chill person. parties are fun every once and a while...

i will be focusing on school, track, dance, singing, and mah freestylez... because im about to be 18 almost close to full grown...gitta hit 21 ti be full grown.

SOO THIS A NOTE TO EVERYONE WHO SAYS "WHY DON I EVER SEE U OUT"
I DON DO OVER CROWDED PLACES, HENCE WHY I DON GO OUT... AND ALL THAT IS LISTED ABOVE.... LOL

Thanks for reading

DesiEliz//Ree' aka Butterfly-D

CRACK OF THE HOUR SHPEEL: VOL I

You know how some people have a fear of life and others have a fear of death.. well i have neither. My fear is not being allowed to live how I want to. Hence why I am so secluded, why you don't see me in relationships very often; almost never. I mean i have been single for a year and my longest relationship was only 6 months. I have come to realize that I can no longer live so guarded.

Yes I can protect myself a bit, but if I never fall how will I learn how to get back up. This all is very cliche' I must admit, but it is all the truth. I am going to be 18 in less than a few weeks now, and I am going to be a frosh all over again, but this time where it counts, College.

Do not get me wrong I will still live as the lil tough cookie I am, but I will be more open, not naive, but open to what others have to offer, instead of just shutting them down. This change will not happen overnight, because lets admit it, if you know me well, I can be a BITCH, well a real, independent chick when it comes to relationships. I can be insensitive and just cold hearted.

I do not want a serious relationship, so do not come saying I LOVE YOU etc... just, I would like to me new people, experience my frosh yr, with out going WILD....

Welp thanx for lisrening//reading lol

DesiElizz//Ree'J

aka BUTTERFLY-D

DAILY LIFE: VOL VIII

Well I am pretty sure ya'll read the post below! Yes Desi Eliz, Ree'Ree', or whatever you call me, YES I am finally growin up! I am about to be 18 in about a month! I do not have a job, but if you know my family, well lets say my parents rather have me foocus on accademics and athletics!

I do want a job tho. Uhm I wourkin on more tattoos, but I need to get my money in order first! But by christmas I shall be way tattd! New piercings comming soon. Navel[reg top] Navel[dermals bottom and possible both sides]. I have watched vids of them so idk it looks painfull.

I WILL ^^"DO THE IMPOSSIBLE!"^^

MY FUTURE!

WELL I SIGNED THE PAPERS TODAY!

I WILL BE ATTENDING GLENDALE COMMUNITY COLLEGE!

I AM ON A TRACK SCHOLARSHIPS--GOING IN AS ONE OF THE TOP TRIPLE JUMPERS!

I WILL BE LIVING WITH MY BROTHER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND && AT MY PARENTS NEW LUXURY HOME IN WADDELL WHEN I WANT TO GET AWAY...

BUT I AM EXCITED TO TAKE THIS NEW JOURNEY! AND TRACK SEASON AND MY KINESIOLOGY MAJOR SHALL PUSH ME AND MOTIVATE ME!

HEY GUYS DESI IS GROWING UP!

HOME FOR SALE!!! CHECK IT OUT

My parents just bought a luxury home in the far west city of Waddell, AZ. Well we still have our home out here in Avondale and are looking to sale or rent it. So if you would like to take a look or receive more information about this home please contact me on:

www.myspace.com/65869600

www.facebook.com/1460035285

studiousbeauty@aol.com

or text me

2 STORY
4 BED ROOM
3 FULL BATH
2831 SQ FT
RENT--1500 A MONTH
BEAUTIFUL AREA
LOCATED MY ESTRELLA COMMUNITY COLLEGE/SHOPPIN AREAS/FULLY LANDSCAPED
ALL APPLIANCES WILL STAY
CARPET AND TILE
CUSTOME GARRAGE STORAGE AREA
MASTER BEDROOM--CUSTOME COLSET SETTING
AIM/TXT ME IF YOU OR UR PARENTS ARE INTERESTED

BIPOLAR +]----x{

So here is my thing, I have my moments of uncertaincy, I have my moments of despair, I have my moments of absurdity and I have those moments that I deem unfair.....

I have to realize I have to love life w/or w/o love. It will come to me right? Over the past days I have been tossing or turning pulling flower pedals in my mind.

Well I cannot say I am over it, because I cannot tell the future; but I can say for now, in my present day, I am going to try my best to not dip into my past.

To realize if it is meant to be it will happen. And to always remember GOD has something A M A Z I N G planned for me!

LOST GIRL-->PROFOUND WOMAN

"True love is in the eye of the beholder"

If love is so infinite

If time is so precious

If distance and age do not matter

If everything is so true

Why is it that you and I are not glued?

Answer me, not by saying "I need my girl here with me etc"

Tell me the true reason

Let me know if it is just me that is in deep?

If so let me know so I can get over this ish, please don waste my time.

I am not your PHX girl, its either all of me or just a bestie... Time to chose!

But on the contrary I too am not sure if I can handle the significance of the relationship we would be committed too, but I am willing to try and see. We have our friendship to fall back on like we have many times before... I just need answers.

LOST GIRL w/a LOST LOVE:

i have been wonderin why i am not able to be happy... its because my heart is not inside my body.
it is somewhere floating around because the person who once had it does not know what to do with it...
i feel torn and at this point all my hope is lost....
idk how this person kan be settling for others, while i sit here and try but it isnt the same.
i thought if i told myself "im over you! im over you!" it would come true, but guess what I AM NOT...
it sucks that distance plays a huge part in why we are not together, but damn if that is the case idt we will be together anytime soon.
so maybe i should just keep tellin myself i am over u, that it is nothing but a friendship.
i have this feeling that i am not being told the whole truth, i feel like this "friend/homegurl" is more than that.... but on the otherside it could just be the inner envious me because she gets to spend a ton of time w/u because yall go to the same school
i believe you when u say she is just a friend, and yall did try to be more but it wasnt right. i have no reason not to believe you....but i would be devistated if i found out otherwise...
well i just needed to vent... and if ur reading this.... ur birthday is today... 5/26 happy birthday!
love -lost girl

DAILY LOFE: VOL VI-->ALUMNI OF 09! I FN MADE IT!

IT FEELS AMAZING TO BE OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL.

THE NEXT CHAPTER OF MY LIFE BEGINS!

I WILL NOT TAMPER WITH MY PAST!

ONLY LIVE IN THE PRESENT AND DREAM ABOUT THE FUTURE!

THE LORD WILL GUIDE ME THROUGH!

I HAVE SOME IMPROVEMENTS, NOT CHANGES, BUT IMPROVEMENTS TO DO!

LIFE IS LOOKING UP!

DAILY LIFE: VOL V

WELL WELL WELL I MADE IT! GRAD NIGHT IS TONIGHT! MAN MY SENIOR YEAR HAD THE MOST ISH!

STARTED W/THE DEATH OF OUR SCHOOL RED HEAD! JOSH AKA CARROT TOP! THEN MY AUNTY KITTY PASSED, THEN MY BOY JUSTIN, THEN MY UNCLE ROSE THEN MY BIG MAMMA. THESE ARE ONLY THE DEATHS.

MY HIGH SCHOOL HAD HAVOC OVER MRSA, THEN A SPILL PF MERCURY, SOME KIDS SETTIN EACH OTHER ON FIRE AND POSSIBLE SWINE FLU.

THEN FOR MY SPORTS-DIDNT PLAY BASKETBALL DUE TO POOR JUDGEMENT [NOT ON MY BEHALF THO] AND TRACK WAS A GOOD SEASON TILL THE STATE MEET. WOW WHAT A WAY TO END MY SEASON YA?

DID THE WORST EVER IN TRIPLE DIDNT EVEN MAKE IT TO FINALS, WHICH IS UNUSUAL! UGH BUT EVERYONE HAS THEIR OFF DAYS MINE JUST HAPPENED TO BE ON THE MOST IMPORTANT MEET. OUR 4X1 GOT 7TH. WE DIDNT EVEN AUTO QUALIFY OR WIN REGION WE WERE AN AT LARGE TEAM AND WE DID WELL.

I LOST A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS BUT GAINED A FEW GREAT FRIENDS!

AND NOW IT GRADUATION. TIME TO PUT ALL THAT BEHIND ME AND TRY TO USE THESE ASPECTS OF MY LIFE TO GIVE ME STRENGTH AND WISDOM.

I HAVE MEETINGS WITH GCC AND PVCC NEXT WEEK. I HAVE A JOB NOW! LIFE IS ALREADY LOOKIN UP!

DAILY LIFE: VOL IV

So what is going on with me? Well I am about to graduate. I have been through some ish. I lost my Big Mamma. I lost a friend I have had for many years. But all in all I am doing good.

Graduation is May 19th! So much anxiety! I am ranked 3rd in region for triple 9th in 4A-I. I am still in the top 20% of my class. I may be getting a scholarship to Paradise Valley Community College or Mesa Community College! They are coming to see my final performance in the triple and 4x1 relay Wednesday, May 13th and Saturday, May 16th at MCC!

So as you can see life is progressing. My love life is still blah as always, but its alright. The right guy will come along when God believes I am ready.

My parents just bout a million dollar home for the mid 300s!! I am looking for an apartment with my future roomie/sis Manda! I am anxious and excited to see where this next chapter of my life will being me!

MISS ARIZONA--MI PRIMA!

OKAY SO THIS IS OBER EXCITING FOR MY FAMILY. THIS HERE IS MI PRIMA,
ALICIA-MONIQUE BLANCO. SHE IS A WELL DEVELOPED YOUNG WOMAN. AT THE AGE OF 21 SHE ENTERED IN HER FIRST PAGENT EVER. MISS ARIZONA--AND SHE WON!

THEN SHE WENT TO VEGAS FOR THE MISS USA---TOP 10--TO THE TOP 5--TO THE TOP 2--AND SHE GOT RUNNER UP. I BELIEVE SHE SHOULD HAVE WON BUT SHE ALREADY HAD GREAT THINGS IN LINE FOR HER.

I LOVE MI PRIMA. SHE IS AMAZING. SHE MAKES LATINAS ALL OVER PROUD. SHE IS BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE AND OUT! AND FELLAZ DO NOT TRY TO HOLLA... BECAUSE SHE DON PLAY NO ISH! HAHAHA.

LOVE YOU MONIQUE!


AND I THOUGHT I WAS BEAUTIFUL... LOL SHE MAKES ME LOOK NORMAL. LOL HAHAHA! I LOVE YOU THOUGH MONIQUE!

INSIGHT: THRU HEARTBRAKE!

I will find strength to move on
I will not accuse the next guy of the same faults you had
But I will keep a wise mind at hand
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FELLAZ && FEEMIEZ LOVE IS DEF NOT A GAME
SO DO NOT THINK THERE ARE RULES TO PLAY
DO NOT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ANOOTHER'S HEART
AND DO NOT SAY THINGS YOU DO NOT MEAN!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OH AND THIS IS TO YOU. YA YOU THE DUDE WHO BLIND FOLDED ME AND SAID TO TRUST YOU.... HAHAHAH YA THEN SO YOU COULD PUSH ME OFF THE HIGHEST BUILDING.....YA DUDE GUESSS WHAT. YOU KNOW HOW I SAID I WOULD HOLD ON AS LONG AS YOU DIDNT LET ME GO. WELL I FEEL LIKE YOU ARENT HOLDING ME. I THINK YOU HAVE A ROPE THAT IS HOLDING ME DOWN, WHILE YOU DO YOUR THING. WELL GUESS WHAT BUDDY. YOU SAY I TRIP TO MUCH, YOU SAY YOU ARE STILL IN LOVE WITH ME AND YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH, WELP BUDDY. I AM NOT GONNA SAY YOU ARE LYIN BECAUSE I KNOW YOU LOVE ME. BUT YOU HAVE BECOME A FIGMENT OF MY PAST. I AM LEARNING FROM THE EXPERIENCE YOU FORCED UPON ME. AND GUESS WHAT LEARN FROM THIS ONE.

YOU DO NOT TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM, THAT YOU HAVE HAD THESE STRONG FEELINGS TOWRDS ME FOR YEARS AND THEN JUST PUSH ME AWAY AND LET ME GO AFTER ONE LITTLE PROBLEM THAT WAS BLOWN OUT OF PORPORTION BECAUSE OF YOUR OWN INSECURITIES. YOU PUT ME THRU HELL. BUT NO MORE. IM DONE!

I THANK YOU BECAUSE ME MOVIN ON FROM YOU AND LEARNING FROM THE SITUATION YOU PUT ME, TEACHES ME AND EQUIPS ME TO BE STRONG ENOUGH TO AVOID THE NEXT THAT COULD POSSIBLY LIKE OR WORSE THAN YOU.

YOUR BOY SAID NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO REPLACE YOU IN MY HEART.... WELL WE WILL NEVER KNOW TILL THAT DAY COMES. NO DOUBT YOU HAVE A PIECE OF MY HEART. BUT IT IS NO LONGER THE SIZE IT USED TO BE. YOUR BOY ALSO SAID NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO REPLACE ME IN YOURS. WELP IDK THAT FOR SURE. BUT I HAD BEEN NOTHING BUT A GREAT FRIEND FOR 6 YEARS! SO IDK....

YOU CLAIMED YOU CHANGED, YOU HAVE GROWN TO BE A MAN. THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER THE 7TH GRADE DUDE I DATED, OR THE LIL HIGH SCHOOL FROSH-JR THAT DATED MY HOMEGIRLS. WELP I DON SEE THE CHANGE ANYMORE. I THOUGH I DID BUT IDK.

I HAVE NO IDEA IF YOU WILL READ THIS AND FRANKLY I DON CARE.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LADIEZ BE STRONG! IF YOU ARE IN A SITU THAT IS MAKING YOU UNHAPPY AND IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIX- GET THE F OUT!

POEM OF THE DAY: LAST WORDS!

I'm done
Fininto
Im gone
You pushed me away
Away to a place of no return
Ya you maybe going through it
But we could have pushed through it
But you blind folded me
Told me trust is a necessity
Then when I jumped
I hit the ground instead of your arms
I'm done
Finito
I'm gone
You still are my boy
But not my joy
I'm out
Goodbye for now
Maybe for a while
I'll do me
I'm done
Finito
I'm gone!

POEM OF THE DAY: SICKNESS

As I sit I wonder
Looking at what used to be
Attempting to figure out if you page songs are for me
Thinking about what could have been
Remembering your last words to me
Pondering on what you meant
You said things to me no one else never did
But when things became a little complex
It seemed as if it all just faded away
How can a love not be strong enough
Why when we need someone the most we push them away
I question the love you claim consumes you
If it was as authentic, then why is it that you are indulged in another
I cannot come to hate you
I cannot come to despise you
I can come to you and speak the truth
You cut me deep because you were not ready
You blind folded me
Told me to trust you
Then pushed me off a burning building
Believing that if you pushed me away everything would be solved
Thinking that if you could sacrifice my heart by pushing me away now
Well that may have been so
But as I stand, I stand with a different attitude towards you
As I sit I wonder
Looking at what used to be
Attempting to figure out if your page songs are meant for me
Thinking about what could have been
Remembering your last words to me
Pondering on what you meant
You said things to me no one else never did
But when things became a little complex
It seemed as if it all just faded away
How can a love not be strong enough
Why when we need someone the most we push them away
I question the love you claim consumes you
I look back, my stomach drops as my heart burns
An illness that I can make go away for that moment with a temporary medicine
Yet this illness shall never go away until a universal treatment is discovered

PSA OF THE FN YEAR!

IM SO DONE WITH NIGGS WASTIN MY TIME. AND IM DONE WASTIN DUDES TIME.

IM SORRY BUT RIGHT NOW IF IM NOT DIGGIN U ENUFF TO LET YOU WIFE, IMMA HAVE TO KALL IT QUITS.

I HAVE TOO MUCH CHIT GOIN ON IN MY LIFE TO BE FN ROUND WITH SOMEONE WHO EITHER DON WANNA BE ON WIFEY R.O.D WITH ME OR I DON WANNA BE WIFEY R.O.D WITH THEM.

I BEEN HURT, WALKED OVER, TAKEN AS A JOKE, AND LIED TO FOR TO LONG! I AM DONE WITH IT.

NO FN DRAMA, NO NOTHIN. SO RIGHT NOW AS I STAND, I STAND ALONE! IM DOIN ME GETTIN READY FOR COLLEGE AND MY NEW LIFE!

CHIT GETS LONELY BUT HELL I AM A JOHNSON AND I AM STRONG WILLED!

IM OUT!

DAILY LIFE: VOL III

So recently I spoke to you guys about possibly joining the Air Force, well that may not happen because my padres' would rather me not go into that field. +/

But today I did find out some great news...... My friend, teammate, Pecker, told me that the CC that is looking at him for a track scholarship is looking at me as well. The CC is.... Paradise Valley Community College, my coach is working on a scholarship to Cal Lutheran, and another coach is working on some other colleges. I am hoping I recieve a scholarship!!! Cross your fingers.

If I do not do any of the previously listed, I will be attending ASU, most likely the Tempe campus, and no matter what College, CC, JuCo or University I attend, I will be studying as a Kenisiology Major! I am not sure what minor exactly, its out of Economics, Communications, Dance, or Business.

Wish me luck!

UNITED STATES AIR FORCE!!!!!

Some maybe surprised at my choice of interest, but dunn-dunnah-dunnn..... I WANNA JOIN THE UNITED STATES AIR FORCE! I believe that it will be a great and life changing expeirience for me. My family supports me 100% only a few people know of this possibility.

I want to learn more about the Air Force and if I do end up inlisting, I want to make sure I am in shape before my training! This is just a little insight on my life right about now.

I would like to be in the Allied Health sector, Medical Operations, Medical Support.

What do you think? DO you have any advice?

MERCURY FOUND IN HIGH SCHOOL

This is why my classes were canceled today-mercury discovered

READ: http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2009/02/13/20090213swv-mercury0213ON.html


But they did do a good job of letting us know about this whole situation this morning they contacted all students' homes and parents' cell phones. Many students along with myself informed our pupil via text message. Well I will see ya'll owls on Tues.

DAILY LIFE: VOL II

Well this is my second volume of my Daily Life. And I told yall I would put up an update and well here it goes.

Well remember when I said I was having so many mixxed emotions. Well now I know exactly how I feel- excited, anxious, accomplished, proud, happy and a bit worried. These emotions come from me about to graduate and I am currently ranked 80/399 which puts me in the top 20%. I am prous because I have continued to omprove in my accademics, thus placing me on the HIGH HONOR ROLL. To some families this is not a big deal, but when you come from a family where niether of your syballyings went to college and one didnt even graduate high school, every single award or high grade is rewarded! I GRADUATE MAY 19TH, 2009 ITS IS ON A TUES... BE THERE IF YOU KNOW AND CARE ABOUT ME!

I am ober excited and anxious about going to college-ASU- and getting an appartment. I will be majoring in Kenisiology and will minor in either business/dance/communications.ecconomics! If everything goes according to plan I will be moving into an appartment in Tempe with my 2 girlies! AMAZEMENT! Those who have known me for a long time are prob like aww
Desi/Ree' Ree' is growin so fast! hahah! YAY ME! Hopefully i recieve a scholarship so my Daddy doesn't have to pay for everything.

I am happy because of all this and because I have been blessed with a few great and amazing people in my life and you all know who you are! I love you all! And I cannot wait to share my success with ya'll!

But finally I am worried because I am having a hard time finding a job! I have applied to like 10 places! I will not loose determination tho! I will get a job dammit! Well if you know of anything let me know POR FAVOR!

Thank you for reading!
Have a Blessed Day!

Desi Eliz--> Butterfly-D!

CHRIS BROWN/RHIANNA CASE

NO PIX BECAUSE YA'LL HAVE SEEN THEM ALL.

BUT THE ONE THEY SHOW WITH HER SUNGLASSES ON AND BRUISES, YEP ITS PHOTOSHOPPED.

HERE IS MY POINT OF VIEW

OMG GO TO TMZ. COM AND READ THE ARTICLES.I AM NOT SAYIN CHRIS IS RIGHT FOR HITTIN HER BUT THINK ABOUT THIS

1.THEY WERE IN A CAR ACCEIDENT

2.SHE HAD BITE MARKS

3.SHE SAID HER BODY WAS HURTING SO BADDLY SO NO ONE TOUCH HER

4.SHE WILL POSSIBLY BE CHARGED AS WELL

5.SHE STARTED THE FIGHT-BUT FAILED TO TELL THE AUTHORITIES THAT INFO

6.SHE LIED ABOUT HIM USING A DEADLY WEAPON AND WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE LIE

7. OK SO THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A SECOND. WHAT IF RHIANNA WAS FIGHTING HIM WHILE HE WAS DRIVING.SHE CPULD HAVE POSSIBLY BEEN OUT OF HER SEAT ATTACKING HIM AND HE TRYING TO REMAIN SAFE COMING BACK WITH FORCE TO PLY HER OFF OF HIM. SHE COULD HAVE BEE STRABGLING HIM OR SOMETHING INVOLVED WITH HIS HEAD OR FACE. WHICH WOULD MEAN HIS FIRST REACTION COULD BE TO USE HIS MOUTH TO KEEP HIS HANDS ON THE WHEEL. THUS REACTING IN A BITING MANNER. AND SINCE THAT DIDNT WORK HE PUSHED HER AWAY WITH SO MUCH FORCE, OR LITTLE FORCE BUT ENOUGH THAT HER FORCE WAS USED AGAINST HER, AND SHE HIT FACE FIRST INTO THE DASHBORED/STEERING WHEEL/PASS. DOOR/ ETC.

8. HE FREAKIN TURNED HIMSELF IN!!!!!!!!!! SO OBVIOUSLY THERE WAS A BIT OF REMORSE AND URGENCY! HE KNEW WHAT HE DID WAS WRONG AND HE SAW NO POINT OF TRYING TO RUN FROM IT. IN MY EYES AND THEORY CHRIS BROWN IS NOT IN COMPLETE FAULT, RHIANNA IS IN MOST OF THE FAULT.

DAILY LIFE: VOL. I

So lately I have been experiencing mixed emotions. I have been flustered, irritated, sad, depressed, angry, confused, happy, successful, amazed, creative, inspired. But one thing I haven't been feeling lately is loved. I have been abandoned by this aspect of life. I want real love, true love not only with friends and family but with someone whom I have the ability to experience life with. I want someone stable, a person, a man who can take me in his arms and protect me. A man who is polite, respectful and adores and admires me., and I to him. I want to share the love, the laughter, the slight pain. But I do not think I will experience this for a while. Because of the time I have been heart, and me putting on a cover of a hard ass did not help. I am human, I am not a mindless robot from the Brave New World. I have emotions, even thought I try to blanket them. [bigsigh]. I do not know what is going on with me but man. My home life stresses me out, school keeps me sane kinda, dance is my rescuer, God is my savior, but who will hold my heart?

Other than stuff---- I am enjoing and learning a lot in my AP Lit class. I am looking foward to Hoopcoming. I cant wait till Prom and Graduation. I perfprm 2m during the boys basketball game at half time with my jazz line! I am waiting anxiously to see if I get called in for an onterview for a jib [beenapplyinhardcore]. I am looking for an apt. to move into in May! future roomies, Shawnna &&Kim! So ya thats th DAILY LIFE VOL. 1. If there is an update on any of these things, welll VOL. II will be commin lol. See ya!

ONE OF MY OBSESSIONS

This photograoh means a ton to me. It is not only a picture of the sky but more of a note from an angel above. You see the day I took this picture was the 6month mark since my boy Josh McDaniel(Carrot Top) passed. I do not know if you can see i t or not but if you look close you can see 32 in the clouds. That was his football jersey number. Also if you look on the three there is a splot if red(or school coor). I have always thought, since i was little that the sky, the sun and clouds were a writing pad for God and our angels above. I still believe that till this day. Whenever I am having a bad day I look up at the sky and snap some pictures to see what God or my angels want to teel me.

NOVEL REVIEW: 1984

George Orwell did an amazing job on this novel. I really thought that this novel was going to bore me to death. It was assigned by my AP Lit teacher, and well I judge a book by its cover...(This wasn't the cover of the book I had--the cover of the one i had is below). This story started off so boring like I was dragging myself, along with a 600 ton weight strapped to my ankles, through each page. But as I kept reading the book became more and more interesting. After i got into the second chapter that's when things started to spice up. But again I will not tell you the story go read it for your self. The theme of this novel was a dystopia, meaning a negative and dark world. This was written after WWII and placed in London. The story is told through Winston's eyes. Winston is a party member who just does not agree with this "Big Brother" and the Party ideals , rules and restrictions. He consumes internal conflict while dealing with the external conflicts of the society. He isnt able to love because he thinks of women as spies, who will betray him. I do recommend you read this novel it can possibly be life changing or give you a slightly new way to look at life. It deals with recession, communism, betrayal, death, and hopelessness. The end is also surprising.

MOVIE REVIEW: GRAN TORINO

NOW THIS FILM DESERVES ALL CAPS. I PEEPED THIS FILM JANUARY 10TH! MAN THIS MOVIE WAS HUMOROUS, ACTION PACKED, AND ALSO VERY LIFE CHANGING IN MY EYES. CLINT EASTWOOD, I BELIEVE WAS THE BEST FIT TI PLAY "WALT". THE CAST FOR THIS MOVIE WAS WELL THOUGHT OUT AND PICKED. I ACTUALLY LEARNED SOMETHING FROM THIS MOVIE. WITHOUT FORGIVING YOURSELF AND ALLOWING GOD TO FORGIVE YOU, YOU WILL NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO LIVE IN PEACE. I SUPER RECOMMEND YOU SEE THIS FILM.

MOVIE REVIEW: UNBORN

So I went to the theater on Friday, January 9th, and I peeped the new movie unborn. I recommend you see this movie. Me being the analytical observer I am (because of myAP lit teacher), I began to analyze the movie from the beginning. Unborn the title its self gives you an idea of something being hidden within and has yet to come out, to be born. Well I will not tell you the movie you should see it yourself. This movie consumed horror, action, thrills, and a bit of love, for you sapps. There is also some freakin mind bending, head twisting, neck breaking action as well. A PG-13 movie well done.

OPRAH TONIGHT! AMAZING

These two ministers said that being gay is a gift from God

That being gay is a devine act from God

Spiritually this is how God wanted you to be. You just dont happen to be gay, God wanted you to be gay...

This honestly is the best defenition of homosexuality I have heard. They say that you are that way because God has a plan for you to deliver through your own beliefs.

If you didnt watch the show tonight watch it on you tube please.

Tell me what you think....

BROMANCE--HOMO

NOW THESE TV SHOWS ARE BECOMING MORE PATHETIC EVERY YEAR! PARIS HILTON SEARCHING FOR A BFF ON TV AND NOW BRODY FROM THE HILLS HAS THIS BROMANCE SHOW...HMMM MAN IDK IF YOU HAVE TO FIND LOVE OR FRIENDS ON TV YOU ARE PRETTY PATHETIC. ITS A WAY TO GET DOUGH BUT DAMN THIS SHOW BROMANCE I ONLY PEEPED THE FIRST 10 MINUTES.... SUPER HOMO! ELIMENATION IN A HOT TUB FULL OF GUYS... NAAAH CHILL! HAHAHA WELL THATS MY INPUT. THIS IS THE FIRST POST OF THE YEAR 2009 HAHAHA GOOD TOPIC RIGHT?